About a week ago,I found myself
standing on a stage in an auditorium at a conference on AAC,
augmentative/alternative communication. There I was, microphone in hand, in
front of over 100 people and all I could think was, what am I doing here?
What on earth can I share with these bright professionals that they haven’t
already heard before? What do I know
anyway? Is it too late to fake an illness and run from the building?
So, what lead up to my moment on
that stage? In November of last year I attended #TalkingAAC for the first
time. The conference was mentioned by an AAC consultant from the state
who had come to help us with some training. Two of my colleagues had
signed up to go and I thought, why not? And so I went and it was great. The conference reaffirmed knowledge that I
already had and challenged me to implement strategies that I hadn’t gotten to
yet. It was a really positive experience and I was eager to attend again
next year if I could convince my administrator to agree to send me a second
time. The key word there was ATTEND,
presenting at the conference never crossed my mind.
Well, it never crossed my mind until
one of my colleagues said she was thinking about submitting a proposal for the
conference the following year. Really??? I said surprised. While she was an experienced teacher and
presenter, she was very new to AAC. What
could she possibly have to share? Or was
it just that I, an experienced AAC implementer, couldn’t think of a damn thing
that I knew enough about to share at a large conference like #TalkingAAC.
Upon further conversation with my colleague, I discovered that she thought
about doing a presentation on the early stages of implementation of a
communication system, the barriers, the successes, etc. It wasn’t necessary to be a seasoned veteran,
a session like that could inspire and encourage others to get started.
It’s nice to hear from people who have just taken their first steps when you
are thinking about taking yours. It’s comforting to hear that things didn’t
always go as planned. It’s helpful to
hear how problems were solved and the plan moved forward. It’s nice to hear from a presenter who
doesn’t have all the answers.
And so the idea sat there in the
back of my mind for a while, nagging at me. And then in March something
major happened, an AAC consultant position opened up at my county ISD.
Over the next 3 months I went through rounds of interviews culminating in a 30
minute presentation in front of some highly respected AAC professionals who
were experienced and polished presenters to boot.
It was during this process that I
became aware of how many SLPs and teachers from my county were already well
known AAC presenters at numerous conferences. I was not. I started to realize that despite my
experience on the job, I lacked the exposure and name recognition in the AAC
world that many of my peers enjoyed. I lacked street cred. I began to face the real possibility that I was
going to lose out on this job to someone who was not only great on the job but
great in the conference room. But instead of just throwing in the towel and
accepting defeat, I decided to start positioning myself for the next time the
job came open. So armed with a computer and a glass of merlot, I quickly typed
up a proposal for #TalkingAAC and hit send before I could chicken
out.
And so was born my presentation
entitled “If I Have to Play Bingo One More Time I’m Gonna Lose My Mind.”
The idea was inspired by the presentation I had hoped to find at the conference
the previous year, but didn’t. I had hoped that someone would present new
ideas for lessons and activities that I could take back to my classrooms.
And, even though I was hoping for new ideas for myself, I thought that maybe
presenting my ideas would trick my audience into sharing theirs.
I didn’t think my proposal had a
prayer of getting accepted. Why?
First, I was an unknown, an SLP who had never presented anything outside
of my own district. I was a very small fish in a very big pond. Second,
the title wasn’t serious. After watching
all of the slick, polished, serious presentations of the previous year, I
wasn’t sure that the board would go for something with such a silly title.
Third, #TalkingAAC seemed to be about big ideas and my presentation was about
the small ideas of the day to day work of those on the front lines of AAC
implementation. I was wrong on all counts.
A few months later, I found out I
got the AAC Consultant job. An extremely well timed retirement had made
space for 2 consultants instead of one. Shortly thereafter I found out my
proposal for #TalkingAAC was accepted.
So I was left to wrap up my old job of 16 years, start up my new dream
job, and whip my presentation into shape. Oh and add helping my son apply to
college into the mix. No pressure there.
By some miracle, I was able to pull
the whole thing together. I read reams of research, edited, rewrote, and
edited again. I rehearsed over and over
in my bedroom while fending off requests from my family as to the location of
wallets, keys, and phones. I assembled props, videos and tech. I tested
and retested everything to make sure it all worked. I even managed to upload my
handouts at the 11th hour.
Finally, after pacing around and
going over my slides for what seemed like the 1,000th time, I stepped out on
that stage. Did everything go perfectly? Nope! Did I set the world on
fire with my brilliant ideas? No, not really.
What I did do was share my ideas. Some people learned new ideas that
they hadn’t heard before, some were reminded of things they hadn’t done in a
while, some just got validation that they were on the right track, and some
just had a good laugh at the end of a long day. Others probably just
thought the whole thing was stupid. It doesn’t really matter either way. What I learned was that I actually did have
something to say and I hope others will realize that they do too.
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