Maybe I Really Do Have Something to Say: My first presentation at a conference

About a week ago,I found myself standing on a stage in an auditorium at a conference on AAC, augmentative/alternative communication. There I was, microphone in hand, in front of over 100 people and all I could think was, what am I doing here?  What on earth can I share with these bright professionals that they haven’t already heard before?  What do I know anyway? Is it too late to fake an illness and run from the building?

So, what lead up to my moment on that stage?  In November of last year I attended #TalkingAAC for the first time.  The conference was mentioned by an AAC consultant from the state who had come to help us with some training.  Two of my colleagues had signed up to go and I thought, why not? And so I went and it was great.  The conference reaffirmed knowledge that I already had and challenged me to implement strategies that I hadn’t gotten to yet.  It was a really positive experience and I was eager to attend again next year if I could convince my administrator to agree to send me a second time.  The key word there was ATTEND, presenting at the conference never crossed my mind.

Well, it never crossed my mind until one of my colleagues said she was thinking about submitting a proposal for the conference the following year.  Really??? I said surprised.  While she was an experienced teacher and presenter, she was very new to AAC.  What could she possibly have to share?  Or was it just that I, an experienced AAC implementer, couldn’t think of a damn thing that I knew enough about to share at a large conference like #TalkingAAC.  Upon further conversation with my colleague, I discovered that she thought about doing a presentation on the early stages of implementation of a communication system, the barriers, the successes, etc.  It wasn’t necessary to be a seasoned veteran, a session like that could inspire and encourage others to get started.  It’s nice to hear from people who have just taken their first steps when you are thinking about taking yours. It’s comforting to hear that things didn’t always go as planned.  It’s helpful to hear how problems were solved and the plan moved forward.  It’s nice to hear from a presenter who doesn’t have all the answers.

And so the idea sat there in the back of my mind for a while, nagging at me.  And then in March something major happened, an AAC consultant position opened up at my county ISD.  Over the next 3 months I went through rounds of interviews culminating in a 30 minute presentation in front of some highly respected AAC professionals who were experienced and polished presenters to boot.  

It was during this process that I became aware of how many SLPs and teachers from my county were already well known AAC presenters at numerous conferences.  I was not.  I started to realize that despite my experience on the job, I lacked the exposure and name recognition in the AAC world that many of my peers enjoyed.  I lacked street cred.  I began to face the real possibility that I was going to lose out on this job to someone who was not only great on the job but great in the conference room. But instead of just throwing in the towel and accepting defeat, I decided to start positioning myself for the next time the job came open. So armed with a computer and a glass of merlot, I quickly typed up a proposal for #TalkingAAC and hit send before I could chicken out.  

And so was born my presentation entitled “If I Have to Play Bingo One More Time I’m Gonna Lose My Mind.”  The idea was inspired by the presentation I had hoped to find at the conference the previous year, but didn’t.  I had hoped that someone would present new ideas for lessons and activities that I could take back to my classrooms.  And, even though I was hoping for new ideas for myself, I thought that maybe presenting my ideas would trick my audience into sharing theirs. 

I didn’t think my proposal had a prayer of getting accepted.  Why?  First, I was an unknown, an SLP who had never presented anything outside of my own district. I was a very small fish in a very big pond.  Second, the title wasn’t serious.  After watching all of the slick, polished, serious presentations of the previous year, I wasn’t sure that the board would go for something with such a silly title. Third, #TalkingAAC seemed to be about big ideas and my presentation was about the small ideas of the day to day work of those on the front lines of AAC implementation. I was wrong on all counts.

A few months later, I found out I got the AAC Consultant job.  An extremely well timed retirement had made space for 2 consultants instead of one.  Shortly thereafter I found out my proposal for #TalkingAAC was accepted.  So I was left to wrap up my old job of 16 years, start up my new dream job, and whip my presentation into shape. Oh and add helping my son apply to college into the mix. No pressure there. 

By some miracle, I was able to pull the whole thing together.  I read reams of research, edited, rewrote, and edited again.  I rehearsed over and over in my bedroom while fending off requests from my family as to the location of wallets, keys, and phones. I assembled props, videos and tech.  I tested and retested everything to make sure it all worked. I even managed to upload my handouts at the 11th hour.  

Finally, after pacing around and going over my slides for what seemed like the 1,000th time, I stepped out on that stage.  Did everything go perfectly? Nope! Did I set the world on fire with my brilliant ideas? No, not really.  What I did do was share my ideas. Some people learned new ideas that they hadn’t heard before, some were reminded of things they hadn’t done in a while, some just got validation that they were on the right track, and some just had a good laugh at the end of a long day.  Others probably just thought the whole thing was stupid. It doesn’t really matter either way.  What I learned was that I actually did have something to say and I hope others will realize that they do too.